01
The person
Their character, family life, work, interests, achievements, humour, friendships and the memories people will recognise.
Funeral service planning guide
Planning a service that feels personal
Once the funeral has been booked, the person leading the service will speak with the family about the life being remembered and the content of the ceremony. This guide explains what normally happens and provides ideas for music, poems, readings, hymns and the Order of Service.
Suitable for religious and non-religious services
Every running order can be adapted
Your officiant will help guide the conversation
Meet the officiant
A vicar, priest, minister or funeral celebrant will arrange to speak with the family.
Share memories
They will ask about the person's life, character, beliefs, family and interests.
Choose the content
Together you can select music, hymns, readings, prayers and family contributions.
Create the booklet
The final running order can then be used to prepare the Order of Service.
What happens next
The service-planning meeting
After the funeral arrangements and service venue have been confirmed, the person conducting the ceremony will normally contact the family to arrange a conversation. This may take place at home, at one of our funeral homes, by telephone or by video call.
The officiant may be a vicar, priest, minister or funeral celebrant. Their role is to listen carefully, understand the person who has died and help the family build a service that feels appropriate.
You do not need to have every choice ready before the meeting. It is often enough to begin with a few memories, favourite pieces of music, family stories and any religious or personal elements that matter to you.
A helpful starting point
Before the conversation, make a note of important names, dates, family relationships, work, interests, achievements, sayings and memories. These details can help shape the eulogy and the overall tone of the ceremony.
Preparing for the conversation
What the officiant may discuss
The meeting is a supportive conversation rather than a test. The following subjects help the person conducting the funeral understand what will feel right for the family.
02
Faith and tone
Whether the service should be religious, non-religious or a combination, and whether the overall feeling should be formal, warm, reflective or celebratory.
03
Family involvement
Who may wish to read, speak, carry the coffin, choose music, share a memory or contribute a prayer, poem or personal message.
04
The ceremony
The music, hymns, eulogy, readings, prayers, visual tribute, committal and the way the family would like the service to close.
A useful example
A typical funeral service running order
The officiant will put the chosen content into a clear sequence. This helps the family, funeral director, venue, musicians and anyone taking part understand what will happen.
This is only an example. Funerals can be as bespoke and personal as the family wishes. Elements may be moved, removed or added, subject to the venue, available time and any religious requirements.
01
Processional Music
Played as the coffin and mourners enter the chapel, church or service venue.
02
Welcome and Opening Words
The officiant welcomes everyone and introduces the purpose and tone of the service.
03
Hymn, Poem or Reading
A hymn may be sung. Where no hymn is chosen, a poem or short reading can work well here.
04
Eulogy
A tribute telling the story of the person's life, relationships, character and memories.
05
Reflection Music
A quiet musical choice, sometimes accompanied at a crematorium by a visual tribute of photographs shown on the screens.
06
Poem or Reading
Delivered by the officiant, a family member or friend, or included as words for private reflection.
07
The Lord's Prayer
Where appropriate to the family's beliefs and the style of service.
08
Words of Committal
The formal moment of farewell, adapted for cremation, burial or the particular faith tradition.
09
Words of Thanks
Thanks to those attending, details of donations and any invitation to a gathering after the service.
10
Recessional Music
Played as the officiant, family and mourners leave the service venue.
Service timing
Are you expecting a large attendance?
Many crematorium bookings allow around 45 minutes for the complete chapel appointment. This can include time for the previous congregation to leave, mourners to enter and take their seats, the funeral service itself and everyone to leave afterwards.
When a large number of mourners is expected, simply bringing everyone into and out of the chapel can reduce the usable ceremony time. A nominal 45-minute booking may sometimes leave closer to 30 minutes for the spoken service and music.
A double chapel time may be worth considering
A longer booking gives everyone time to arrive and leave without the ceremony feeling rushed. The family does not have to use all of the additional time. Often an extra 15 or 20 minutes is enough to make a significant difference.
- Useful where many mourners are expected or several people wish to speak.
- Allows more time for music, a visual tribute, readings and a detailed eulogy.
- Reduces the risk of the service overrunning and any additional charge imposed by the venue.
- Current double-slot availability and cost can be provided before the booking is confirmed.
Music for the ceremony
Popular entrance and exit music
Music does not have to be sad or traditional. A favourite artist, classical piece, television theme, sporting anthem or song associated with a shared memory can make the service instantly personal.
Entrance and reflection
Often calm, dignified or gently emotional as the coffin enters or photographs are shown.
Canon in DJohann Pachelbel - calm classical instrumental
NimrodEdward Elgar - dignified and gradually uplifting
Ave MariaFranz Schubert - devotional and reflective
Air on the G StringJohann Sebastian Bach - gentle classical choice
Over the RainbowJudy Garland or Eva Cassidy - nostalgic or quietly reflective
Time to Say GoodbyeAndrea Bocelli and Sarah Brightman - dramatic farewell
You Raise Me UpJosh Groban or Westlife - strength and gratitude
How Long Will I Love YouEllie Goulding - gentle expression of lasting love
Exit music
The final choice may be reflective, confident, humorous or uplifting and can leave mourners with a strong memory of the person.
My WayFrank Sinatra - independence and a life lived fully
What a Wonderful WorldLouis Armstrong - warmth and appreciation
You'll Never Walk AloneGerry and the Pacemakers - hope, community and football memories
Always Look on the Bright Side of LifeEric Idle - humorous and optimistic
Simply the BestTina Turner - affectionate and celebratory
Match of the Day ThemeBarry Stoller - distinctive choice for a football supporter
Soul LimboBooker T. and the M.G.'s - familiar cricket theme
Last of the Summer Wine ThemeRonnie Hazlehurst - gentle television nostalgia
Confirm the exact recording: tell your Personal Funeral Advisor or officiant the song title, artist and preferred version. Different recordings can sound very different, and the venue may need to source the music through its approved system.
Words for remembering
Popular funeral poems
Open a card to read the complete poem. A poem can be delivered by the officiant, a relative or friend, or printed in the Order of Service.
Still Beside Us
A gentle poem about the lasting place someone keeps within family life.
Read the poem
Though your chair is empty now,
your place has not been taken.
You live within the stories told,
in every smile awakened.
The days move on, as days must do,
yet love does not depart.
You are no longer by our side,
but always in our heart.
The Measure of a Life
A positive poem about measuring a life through love, kindness and memories.
Read the poem
A life is not measured only in years,
nor counted by days that have passed.
It lives in the kindness freely given,
and in friendships built to last.
It lives in the laughter shared around tables,
in lessons quietly taught,
in journeys taken, hands held tightly,
and every loving thought.
So let us measure this precious life
by all it gave and knew,
by the hearts made richer through its love,
and the memories carried through.
In All the Ordinary Things
A tribute to a mother whose care was present in the everyday details of family life.
Read the poem
Your love was in the ordinary things,
the cup of tea, the waiting light,
the voice that asked if we were home,
the kiss that made things right.
It lived within your patient hands,
your courage and your care,
in all the ways, both large and small,
you showed that you were there.
And though we cannot call you now,
or see your familiar face,
your love remains in all we do,
a warm and lasting grace.
Steady Hands
A warm tribute to a father remembered for guidance, strength and quiet love.
Read the poem
You showed your love in steady hands,
in quiet, faithful ways,
in turning up when you were needed,
through ordinary days.
You taught us more than words could hold,
by how you chose to live,
with strength enough to carry burdens,
and a heart prepared to give.
The road ahead feels changed today,
yet still your guidance stays.
We carry you within our lives,
in countless little ways.
The Road We Shared
For a husband, wife or partner, reflecting on companionship and enduring love.
Read the poem
We walked one road through changing years,
through sunshine, wind and rain,
through plans fulfilled and hopes revised,
through happiness and pain.
You knew the words I left unsaid,
the person behind my face.
With you, the world felt more like home,
and life a kinder place.
The road continues, though changed now,
and I must walk apart,
but every mile we shared remains
forever in my heart.
Remember
A well-known reflection on remembrance, grief and permission to smile again.
Read the poem
Remember me when I am gone away,
Gone far away into the silent land;
When you can no more hold me by the hand,
Nor I half turn to go yet turning stay.
Remember me when no more day by day
You tell me of our future that you planned:
Only remember me; you understand
It will be late to counsel then or pray.
Yet if you should forget me for a while
And afterwards remember, do not grieve:
For if the darkness and corruption leave
A vestige of the thoughts that once I had,
Better by far you should forget and smile
Than that you should remember and be sad.
Spoken reflections
Readings for the funeral service
A reading can be less formal than a poem and may suit a celebrant-led service, a family contribution or a quiet moment before the committal.
A Life Remembered
A flexible reading suitable for remembering the whole of a person's life.
Read the words
Today we remember a life not as a list of dates, but as a collection of moments.
We remember the conversations, the familiar routines, the laughter, the kindness and the small acts that often meant more than anyone realised at the time.
A person remains part of a family through the values they passed on, the stories that continue to be told and the love that shaped the people around them.
Although today brings a farewell, it also gives us the opportunity to say thank you for a life that mattered and for memories that will continue to matter.
The Things We Carry Forward
A reading about the lasting influence of a parent, grandparent, partner or friend.
Read the words
We carry people forward in ways that are not always obvious.
We hear them in a phrase we find ourselves repeating. We recognise them in a family tradition, a recipe, a piece of music, a place we return to or the way we respond when somebody needs help.
The person we remember today has left something of themselves in every life they touched. Their influence will continue in choices, relationships and memories that may be passed from one generation to the next.
This is one of the ways love continues: not unchanged, but still present.
When Words Feel Difficult
A short reading acknowledging that grief is not always easy to express.
Read the words
There are times when words feel too small for what has happened.
No sentence can contain a whole life, and no ceremony can remove the pain of parting.
But words can help us pause. They can name the love that is present in this room, recognise the sadness we share and remind us that nobody has to carry grief entirely alone.
Today we offer the words we can, and we allow silence to hold the rest.
The Value of One Life
A non-religious reading about the difference one person makes to others.
Read the words
No life is lived in isolation.
Each person changes the world immediately around them through the people they love, the work they do, the kindness they show and the ordinary presence they bring to each day.
The value of a life is found not only in remarkable achievements, but in being known, relied upon, laughed with, learned from and loved.
The world is different because this person was here. That difference remains within the people who knew them.
Into God's Care
A short reading of faith, trust and peaceful commendation.
Read the words
We give thanks to God for the life we remember today, for every kindness shared, every relationship formed and every memory now entrusted to us.
In sorrow, we place our loved one into God's care, trusting that the love which held them throughout life will not fail them now.
May they rest in peace, and may all who mourn be given strength for the days ahead, comfort in their memories and hope in the promise that love is stronger than death.
With Gratitude
A concise reading suited to the final part of the ceremony.
Read the words
As this service draws towards its close, we do not leave empty-handed.
We leave with gratitude for the life we have remembered, for the love that was given and received, and for the memories that belong to us alone.
May those memories bring comfort in time. May the stories continue to be told. And may the person we have honoured today remain part of all that comes next.
Congregational singing
Traditional funeral hymns
Open a card to view commonly used verses. Hymn books and church traditions can use slightly different wording, so the final version and verse selection should always be confirmed with the minister, organist or venue before printing.
Abide with Me
A solemn and familiar hymn asking for God's presence through change, darkness and parting.
View common funeral verses
Abide with me; fast falls the eventide;
The darkness deepens; Lord, with me abide;
When other helpers fail and comforts flee,
Help of the helpless, O abide with me.
Swift to its close ebbs out life's little day;
Earth's joys grow dim, its glories pass away;
Change and decay in all around I see;
O thou who changest not, abide with me.
I need thy presence every passing hour;
What but thy grace can foil the tempter's power?
Who like thyself my guide and stay can be?
Through cloud and sunshine, Lord, abide with me.
Hold thou thy cross before my closing eyes;
Shine through the gloom and point me to the skies;
Heaven's morning breaks, and earth's vain shadows flee;
In life, in death, O Lord, abide with me.
Amazing Grace
A widely recognised hymn about grace, guidance and coming safely through difficulty.
View common funeral verses
Amazing grace! how sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me!
I once was lost, but now am found;
Was blind, but now I see.
'Twas grace that taught my heart to fear,
And grace my fears relieved;
How precious did that grace appear
The hour I first believed.
Through many dangers, toils and snares,
I have already come;
'Tis grace hath brought me safe thus far,
And grace will lead me home.
The Lord has promised good to me,
His word my hope secures;
He will my shield and portion be,
As long as life endures.
When we've been there ten thousand years,
Bright shining as the sun,
We've no less days to sing God's praise
Than when we'd first begun.
Guide Me, O Thou Great Redeemer
A strong congregational hymn about guidance, strength and the final journey.
View the words
Guide me, O thou great Redeemer,
Pilgrim through this barren land;
I am weak, but thou art mighty;
Hold me with thy powerful hand:
Bread of heaven, bread of heaven,
Feed me till I want no more;
Feed me till I want no more.
Open now the crystal fountain,
Whence the healing stream doth flow;
Let the fiery, cloudy pillar
Lead me all my journey through:
Strong Deliverer, strong Deliverer,
Be thou still my strength and shield;
Be thou still my strength and shield.
When I tread the verge of Jordan,
Bid my anxious fears subside;
Death of death, and hell's destruction,
Land me safe on Canaan's side:
Songs of praises, songs of praises,
I will ever give to thee;
I will ever give to thee.
All Things Bright and Beautiful
A warm and familiar hymn celebrating creation and the natural world.
View common verses
All things bright and beautiful,
All creatures great and small,
All things wise and wonderful,
The Lord God made them all.
Each little flower that opens,
Each little bird that sings,
He made their glowing colours,
He made their tiny wings.
The purple-headed mountain,
The river running by,
The sunset, and the morning
That brightens up the sky.
The cold wind in the winter,
The pleasant summer sun,
The ripe fruits in the garden,
He made them every one.
He gave us eyes to see them,
And lips that we might tell
How great is God Almighty,
Who has made all things well.
The Day Thou Gavest, Lord, Is Ended
A dignified evening hymn often chosen near the close of a service.
View the words
The day thou gavest, Lord, is ended,
The darkness falls at thy behest;
To thee our morning hymns ascended,
Thy praise shall sanctify our rest.
We thank thee that thy Church, unsleeping,
While earth rolls onward into light,
Through all the world her watch is keeping,
And rests not now by day or night.
As o'er each continent and island
The dawn leads on another day,
The voice of prayer is never silent,
Nor dies the strain of praise away.
The sun that bids us rest is waking
Our brethren 'neath the western sky,
And hour by hour fresh lips are making
Thy wondrous doings heard on high.
So be it, Lord; thy throne shall never,
Like earth's proud empires, pass away;
Thy kingdom stands, and grows for ever,
Till all thy creatures own thy sway.
Dear Lord and Father of Mankind
A measured hymn about quietness, peace and finding calm amid grief.
View common verses
Dear Lord and Father of mankind,
Forgive our foolish ways;
Re-clothe us in our rightful mind,
In purer lives thy service find,
In deeper reverence, praise.
In simple trust like theirs who heard,
Beside the Syrian sea,
The gracious calling of the Lord,
Let us, like them, without a word,
Rise up and follow thee.
O Sabbath rest by Galilee!
O calm of hills above,
Where Jesus knelt to share with thee
The silence of eternity,
Interpreted by love!
Drop thy still dews of quietness,
Till all our strivings cease;
Take from our souls the strain and stress,
And let our ordered lives confess
The beauty of thy peace.
Breathe through the heats of our desire
Thy coolness and thy balm;
Let sense be dumb, let flesh retire;
Speak through the earthquake, wind, and fire,
O still small voice of calm.
Bringing everything together
The Order of Service booklet
In many ways, planning the service content is also the first stage of planning the booklet. Once the officiant and family have agreed the running order, our team can turn it into a clear and personal Order of Service for mourners to follow and keep.
The booklet can be simple and traditional or highly personalised, using photographs, colours and details that reflect the person being remembered.
- Cover photograph and full name
- Dates and service details
- Complete running order
- Hymn titles and selected words
- Poems and readings
- Photographs from across a lifetime
- Donation and reception details
- A final message of thanks
Common questions
Planning the funeral service
Who decides what is included in the service?
The family makes the choices, with guidance from the vicar, priest, minister or celebrant conducting the ceremony. Religious venues may have particular requirements, but there is usually considerable scope for personal music, memories, readings and family contributions.
Does the family have to write the eulogy?
No. The officiant can prepare the eulogy from the memories and information shared during the planning conversation. A relative or friend may write or deliver part of the tribute if they wish.
Can several family members speak?
Yes, subject to the available service time. It helps to tell the officiant in advance so each contribution can be placed naturally within the running order. A longer chapel booking may be worth considering where several people wish to speak.
How many pieces of music can be used?
Many services use processional, reflection and recessional music, with an additional choice sometimes used around the committal. The exact number depends on the length and style of the ceremony.
Can photographs be shown during the service?
Many crematoria can provide a visual tribute on chapel screens. The available formats, number of photographs, deadlines and charges vary by venue. Our team can explain the local options.
Do we need a double crematorium slot?
Not always. It may be helpful where a large attendance is expected, several family members wish to speak, the eulogy is detailed, or the service includes several hymns, readings and pieces of music. We can provide the current cost and availability before the booking is confirmed.
Can the funeral be completely non-religious?
Yes. A funeral celebrant can conduct a ceremony without hymns, prayers or religious language. The service can focus entirely on the person's life, relationships, music and memories.
When should the Order of Service be finalised?
The content should be agreed as early as practical so there is time for design, proof-reading, family approval and printing. Your Personal Funeral Advisor will give you the relevant deadline for your funeral date.
Here to help
Speak to our team
Your Personal Funeral Advisor can explain the service timings, music system, visual tribute choices and Order of Service deadlines for the venue you have selected.